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Since the internet was on fire last week from Jada Pinkett Smith addressing the open-marriage rumors, the topic has been wrecking my mind.  After some thinking, I still don’t have a concrete answer as to whether an open relationship is absolutely right or wrong, it just depends on the couple.

 

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So for the sake of being objective, below are reasons why monogamy works and why non monogamy works. Please note this is not an attempt to tell you which way to go, but more of an encouragement of who you are and how you choose to embrace your relationship.

 

Why Monogamy Works

 

1. We value connections with people. Even though a one night sexual adventure may seem exhilarating, its just a distraction because at the end of the day people still value their love relationships and want to hold onto them.

2. Cuddling comes naturally. The emotional bond two people share creates closeness and its easier to have an emotional intimacy in a monogamous relationship rather than one that’s purely sexual. Plus there’s no awkward pre-sleep shuffle to find the right cuddling position.

3. Less worries about STDs. When both partners are TRULY monogamous you have zero worries about sexually transmitted diseases.

4. Cheating is addictive. There’s a thrill to cheating. Let’s not deny it. Trying new things is fun, but the more often you do it the more likely you’ll get caught and it’s the lying and sneaky actions that are disrespectful to your partner.

5. Couples can be more kinky. Sure having a new sexual partner can be exciting, but the role playing, dirty talk, and spanking is enjoyed with someone you love and trust completely. You don’t want someone you barely know tying you up and blindfolding you, do you?

6. Monogamy is meaningful. Loyalty, Trust , Fidelity and Respect are all just words until actions either give them power or make them meaningless. Monogamy’s meaning expands with each day that you and your partner commit to it, that’s deep.

 

Why Non Monogamy Works

 

1. It’s natural. Even humans have the natural instinct to mate like animals Monogamy didn’t arise until later in human history when wives and children became the property of husbands.

2. Variety can be hot. Don’t you sometimes fantasize about someone else, even if you’re committed to someone you love with all your heart? After years of being with the same person its nice to switch it up.

3. Creates relationships with strong communication.  The difference between outright cheating and non monogamous relationships is that each partner has an understanding of outside sexual encounters. Which means parters have to also have OPEN communication.

4. Jealousy and possessiveness can be toxic. If not under control, jealousy can lead to mental and physical abuse and sometimes even murder. A non monogamous relationship requires both partners to rise above this emotion.

5. The more the merrier. For some the idea of their partner being desired by others is a major turn on. Open relationships may also allow for threesomes and allow you the freedom to experiment.

6. Sexual needs change. Over the years your sexual needs may grow and change and your partner may no longer be in synch with you or have the same desires. With a non monogamous relationship you don’t have to throw away an entire relationship because the sexual needs are no longer satisfied. In addition, its prevents cheating and making the other person feel betrayed and disrespected.

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